Oscar Reviews Movies He’s Never Seen

Oscar Mandel '26, Writer

Every day, hundreds of people break down movie theater doors to see the next big flick on the silver screen. Not me though! I’m the type of person who reads a summary on Wikipedia instead of seeing the film. You could say that’s not acceptable, but I don’t care, so without further ado, let’s talk about movies I’ve never seen but act as if I have!


The Lost Boys 

In Joel Schumacher’s 1980s classic, The mysterious Peter Pan brings Wendy and her siblings to the wonderful world of . Where kids never grow up, they meet the titular lost boys along their journey, who help them fight the nefarious captain hook. A captivating journey and the best remake of a Walt Disney Classic. 9/10



Alfred Hitchcock’s so-called “masterpiece” according to this poster I found online sucks! It’s literally just a silhouette of a guy spinning around a spiral for 130 minutes, next! 0/10


Citizen Kane

Science Fiction writer Orson Welles is the lead character in his 1941 magnum opus. Kane, a citizen, goes around and does all that a typical citizen does, he checks the mail, reads the news, eats food, sleeps, ya know, person stuff! Honestly, I don’t really get the hype here, is this supposed to be avant-garde? 4/10

Gone With the Wind

This Iconic historical epic is told from the perspective of a man who is blown away in a gust of wind, he lands on an island with his only friend, a volleyball with a face on it. Truly one of Tom Hanks’s best performances. 10/10


I hope you enjoyed this article, I gotta go, my burrito’s ready!